Going Green

There's a label for what you're doing. It's called sabotage. Happiness is fleeting nowadays, almost alien to me. I've forgotten what it's like to feel happy and not worry about what might happen next. But along comes you to ruin a perfectly beautiful day. And you have the gall to pretend that you care. Over-analyzing every single thing only leads to worry and doubt and all the other unwanted feelings. When are you going to ever start living? Wait, let me answer that for you; never. Everybody dies, but not everybody lives. So when carefully examined and dissected, the only logical conclusion I managed to arrive at is that you want me to be doomed to the same fate as you. Always worrying for no apparent reason, jumping to fantastical conclusions without any basis for your suspicions and forever assuming, assuming and assuming! It's safe to say that this behavior can be categorized as sadistic. Yes, that's it.
Not everybody is going to lie to me. Not everybody is going to hurt me. Not everybody is going to make me cry. Even if they do, that's just life. I have to learn. Jot down notes as I go, so I don't forget. The secret to life is that when it beats you down seven times, you get up eight. People deserve chances. If there's no faith, you'll never go far. There's not always going to be a map for everything. Some things are just meant to be explored unchartered. Keeping me in a shell is not going to achieve anything. Things will play out the way it was always meant to be, whether you like it or not.
This is my life. My chance to shine. If I'm always going to be confined in the comfort zone, your comfort zone, might as well lock me up in a high tower with no escape route and let me waste away. Because waste away is exactly what you're trying to achieve. Don't try to deny it.
I'm nineteen for heaven's sake! Nineteen! A whole load of time to be utilized according to my whim and fancy. I know what I want. I know what I'm capable of. I know me. Hook or crook, I'll reach the top. Watch me. Stop making decisions for me and putting words into my mouth. Your bad habit is getting on my nerves. It's bloody unbearable. Stop smothering me, dammit! I'll decide what, when, how, why, who, where. Let my mistakes slap me in the face. I'll never grow up if you think deflecting them is the best defence.
Stop trying to control every single detail of my life. Or would you prefer it if I shut you out for good? Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. Trust me. Let me out into the world. I know the way back.
Gimme a break.There's no need to go all OCD on everything.