Ripples of the Heart

January is leaving us. 2013 might end before we've even comprehended that the calendar needs to be changed. Sixteen days ago I celebrated my 21st birthday. That would mean a number of things; among them is the fact that I am finally eligible to vote in my country's general election. That's pretty exciting for me, seeing that I am a Political Science major and all.
Anyhow.
So my semester holidays are drawing to a close. Three weeks are almost over and by next Monday, I'll be sitting in a classroom listening to my lecturer talking about politics and ideologies and current events and budgets and elections and politicians and midterms and assignments and presentations and warning us about not showing up late for class.
One part of me yearns to be back on campus and be productive, but the other part of me wants to stay at home and babysit Little Por Por so that I can spend my whole day kissing and slapping him. No doubt he gets on my nerves sometimes and interrupts my sleep every morning but I bet I'll miss him once I go back to campus. Why the hell are babies so addictively cute anyway? It should be illegal for them to be too cute.
Maybe that part of me that wants to just stay home is afraid of what the future will bring. What if something happened during the holidays that I don't know about? What if you've forgotten me? What if you hate me now? What if you've moved on?
That would kill me.
It's the new year and generally people make resolutions and wishes. So I've made some resolutions and so far I've completed one. Yes, it is a big deal for me. So yeay me!! And I have a few wishes too.
This year, I wish that it would be a happy and memorable one. I wish I'd be able to conquer my fears, to develop my abilities further and grow as a person. I wish I didn't hold back and hesitate on things that matter to me only to regret my inability to act upon them later. I wish I'd take all my chances when they are presented to me and do more fun things like go on a road trip or play paintball or volunteer for a charity  something.  I wish my biggest wish comes true and that I would have enough courage to follow it through. This year, I wish for a miracle.
Mostly, I wish for you.

...hoping you'd hold me closer.

You were so beautiful,
that it was almost unfair,
because there must be
millions of sleepless fools
who would lie awake,
while I dream of you
[the way you allow me to].

You were so beautiful,
that the strongest swimmer,
the most valiant warrior,
and even the fastest runner
would be found gasping
while standing perfectly still,
[merely by your presence].

You were so beautiful,
that you made modesty
seem far too unnecessary,
because a beauty like you
would never likely
come around again
[so I held you closer].