You're Just a Line in a Song

Hope
Dangles on a string
Like slow-spinning redemption

I was ready to be depressed 'til the 6th of February. And when that given date came, I figured that only then would I hit the panic button. Or the ultra-depressed one. Which ever seemed appropriate.
Over-thinking is like a natural-born talent of mine. I do it oh-so-effortlessly that most of the time I am able to manifest my phantasms in the form of dreams. I should stop bothering to wonder why I feel so deprived of sleep. The answer is already grinning like a rabid dog before my eyes, prancing around stark naked in front of me, trying to gain my attention as I try my best not to be swayed. It's a hopeless battle, one that I know I won't win even if I tried to move mountains.
I suppose I could have squeezed my eyes shut, gritted my teeth and prayed that it would be as painless as possible and that I'd still have a chance of coming out alive. But I guess that every now and then the best things come for those who wait for it.
I can't even describe what transpired. The memory is all there, it's just that whenever I think about it, my heart beats like it's fit to burst in the cavity of my chest, my tummy gets all tingly, a rush of blood surges to my head and I realize that I'm smiling like a maniac all at once. Oh yeah, and I also lose the ability to sit still. Wow. I miss being an idiot.
Out of all the things that took place over the span of fourteen weeks, I never could have asked for a better end. That smile was totally worth it. I hope I get to see you again. It'll be such a crying shame if you liked someone else. Please don't.
You know that feeling, when you feel hopeless but hopeful at the same time? A fine line separates the two and you don't really know which is which. They're intertwined, intermingled; and all you know is that you feel like crying but you don't really know the reason. Is it because you're sad? Or is it because you're happy?
Funny thing is, the one thing I remember quite clearly is the curve of your back in that blue shirt I've come to adore so, so much.

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make it kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days