It's that time of the year again. The one thing everybody is talking about. New Years. Personally, I don't see what the fuss is about. It's just another day, like any other ordinary-mundane-unexciting day. The euphoria won't last, for crying out loud. Just because tonight you have a good time and get completely wasted, doesn't mean tomorrow you won't wake up whining about your stupid hangover which you and all your wisdom caused in the first place. The rest of the year is going to be filled with happy days, sad days, sunny and rainy. Not always butterflies, rainbows and unicorns. Let's face it, a new year simply means that maybe you grew up a little, learned something from the mistakes you've made, decide that maybe this coming year you'll do things differently and now you'll be celebrating yet another birthday because after 365 days, it's only logical that you become a year older.
A new year is merely tearing off the last page of the current year's calendar. This would also be the time when we all sit down and come up with nonsensical things conjured with the help of our imaginations, fondly called 'resolutions'. Why do we even bother making this stuff up, when deep down we know we don't intend whatsoever in fulfilling them? Don't bother, seriously. Wait, what is that I hear? You want to lose weight in the coming year? Roflol. You couldn't identify a treadmill even if it was sent to your front door, unwrapped and labelled for you. I know I'm mean. And yes, I'll have the last laugh too. Mean people get to do that sometimes. And all throughout the time you'll be 'making good' on your resolutions, I'd be right next to you laughing my guts out.
I shouldn't be so cynical. 2011 has been a whirlwind of every possible thing. All the events that took place; the people I met and those I lost, the emotions that coursed through me which I never knew possible, the ups and countless downs, friends made my year bearable, new info harvested for my measly store of knowledge, crushed hopes and expectations, and ultimately, the invaluability of it all.
This year was rogue, totally out of my control. It forced a whole bunch of bitter pills down my throat and made me wait and watch while life unfolded. Given the chance, maybe I wouldn't have changed anything after all. The heartache, the tears, the broken dreams, I'd do it all again so that I won't forget how much pain it caused me and that I wouldn't be foolhardy enough to let those things kick me around for a second time.
Out of all the lessons this year has taught me, the most prominent amongst the lot regards the heart. I learned that it is a fickle-minded being. And it is not to be blamed. Never to be blamed for its short-comings. The Arabs have so aptly named it qalb, which means change. It is no big wonder then as to why I feel on top of the world in one moment and completely suicidal in the blink of an eye. Being emotionally shattered and letting myself hope and smile again in the expense of someone else, all within the span of a short time. That explained a lot. Next time I won't be so fast to run my mouth.
Follow the omens. Study the signs. Listen, watch and most importantly: be patient. If it's meant to be, it will be. Have faith. Hope. Dance in the rain. Eat ice cream. Smile at strangers. Read fiction. Squeal when you see a cute guy.
Note to self: be happy.
I'm hopeful that 2012 will be a lot less stubborn that its predecessor. I hope that it will be filled with more hits for me than misses. 2012 has to play nice. Well, if not, I would have no choice but to lock it up in a dank cell and feed it through a hole in the door until it loves me back.
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