See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
Though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
I'm scared. Scared shitless. Scared straight. Whatever. Bottom line is, I'm scared. Apprehensive. I don't know how tonight will turn out.
The question is, why lead me on when you have no intention of falling through? It sucks. Actually, the word sucks is inadequate in describing the emotional turmoil I'm going through. And the crime scene in my pants isn't helping in any way either. Fucking hormones. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck. Like seriously.
And Monday is coming around the corner all too soon. Back to bad management, screeching brakes, blue roofs and dismal tiles. I hate my life. There's a nagging at the back of my head, reminding me that I have to start working on those assignments before they rival Everest in height. But I'm stuck and I feel like crying. Oh wait, crying is the only damned thing I've been doing since last week. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and seeing my reflection in it. Swollen eyes, messy hair and tears that leave salty crusts in their wake.
I'm going to pick up the phone tonight and probably listen to your voice for the last time. Its killing me. For this past week, everytime I see you name, my heart feels like it's being squeezed by a hand cast in iron. If you could only imagine how that feels. Hurts, doesn't it?
If I just liked you, it wouldn't be a problem for me to turn around and walk away and just pretend that none of this ever happened. The thing is, I love you.
If only you knew.
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