Pre-emptive Emptiness

There's a large vortex right in the middle of my stomach, entirely vacuum. My heart is still beating but to tell you the truth, that's all it ever does these days. I just want to be happy, okay? To taste how it feels again, to actually remember experiencing it. To make sure that it was't just a distant figment of my imagination. Happiness. Ironic how meaningless and elusive it is. I just feel like crying until I lose my mind completely.

 And just how depressing is that?