Oops... I Did It Again.

So I confessed. I told you straight up that I like you. Your response to my confession was expected. But it did nothing to dull the blow. No matter. At least I did what I had to. After that I felt light and most of all, liberated. No doubt a few tears trickled from the corners of my eyes afterward but I was free. At long last. I managed to summon the courage needed to tell you those three words. Not exactly true because they didn't actually sum up all my feelings adequately but at least I got it out. Thank heavens.
Whatever happens between us after that chat session, I'd have to accept it with open arms. Even if I didn't want to. What's done, is done. There was no way in hell I could turn back.
But you did something that totally wasn't you. You said hi the next day. Why give me hope? Stop tormenting me. Stop your taunts. I don't think I can handle it anymore. I just want to know what's it like on your side of the universe. What do you think about, what makes you smile, what do you do when you need somebody to turn to, and mostly, what do you think of me?
Why tell me all those little things when they only give me signals and even more reason to hope? Somehow I just know that deep down, you share the same feelings as I do. Eventhough they're no more than a small speck of substance. Mostly insignificant and can be quelled without harsh means.
Where we are now, is my fault. Solely mine. I'm just as confounded as you are. With all these inappropriate emotions and all these questions that lead to more questions than answers.
My Rock is out of town. I feel a tad bit useless without him. He's as normal as normal can get. Mentality-wise that is. It's so hard to find a stable, breathing 19 year-old that actually thinks using his brain. His words save the day, time and time again. Come home already, man! Urgh.
Enough about wise-best-friends-that-fly-off-to-obscure-islands-to-cook.
I want to see you. But things always find a way to go awry at the last minute. I can't even express myself properly. The words keep tumbling out as if without queue. That's how messed up my thoughts are.
Bottom line is, I miss you. Whoops.

Let's go on dreaming for we know we are

So close

So close

And still so far.