melodramatic.: Scissors & Silk

Today is Tuesday in Malaysia. 5 days to go until the start of the semester. And slowly things are starting to unravel. It's just one of those days where uneasy feelings are accumulated and it just simmers and curdles in your chest, leaving you with a sick pit of nothingness in your stomach. I feel like I'm holding on to a tattered cloth flying in the wind and at any moment the cloth will be rendered asunder, leaving me to succumb to the pull of gravity and ultimately to my death.
I hope to God that you're not a liar. Please don't be. Please. I've been hurt before and I know what it feels like to not be able to put your trust in somebody that you so desperately want to, above all else in the world. That pedestal of yours that I'd built is fragile. It could crumble at any moment. One false move and it will shatter into a million pieces that will simply refuse to fit back together. I'd lose all respect for you. That is the truth.
I'm serious. Please.
Only time will tell, she said. Get to know him first.
If he's a liar, why should I bother even sticking around?
You don't know for sure.
All I know is, if I ever get to the bottom of this, I don't think I'll be able to trust anyone ever again. This could be history literally repeating itself.
Anyways. Overthinking and -analyzing are not the only things I did during the semester break. For the first time ever, I did work! Like actual, physical work. Well, not so physical but physical (for me!) nonetheless. I helped out my aunt to sell cookies and cakes at a bazaar at the Shah Alam State Mosque recently. Mishaps aplenty but in all, a job well done I daresay. I deserve a pat on the back for my efforts. Definitely a milestone for me. Me, a person who can't even handle her own change and fumbles at the cashier when paying bills; yes, I HANDLED THE CASH REGISTER FOR THE WHOLE TWO-AND-A-HALF DAYS!!! I know right, big deal. Daunting, but I survived to tell the tale.

Some of the stuff I sold at the stall.

Proud to say that that wasn't the only thing I did during the two weeks. I also volunteered to teach some Somalian kids near Gombak. An awesome experience indeed. I had a great time. When handling children, there's always drama to be expected. Good drama.